Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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