come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
