I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
Randomize
