so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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