would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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