I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
You can't just leave with hair like that
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
I am available for nakedness
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Randomize
