Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Randomize
