We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
You can't just leave with hair like that
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
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