I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Randomize
