I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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