Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
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