If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Randomize
