google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
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