Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Randomize
