doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
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