i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
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