Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
