Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
Randomize
