I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Randomize
