If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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