Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
I need a burrito and a hug.
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
