We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
