he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
