to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
