I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
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