so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
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