but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
Randomize
