Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
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