so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
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