I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize
