Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
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