i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Randomize
