Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
