So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Randomize
