I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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