i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
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