there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Randomize
