You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
