Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
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