you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
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