Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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