Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize
