So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
