i don't like sucking hair
i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
