My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Randomize
