Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
