You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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