I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
They took my balls.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
Randomize
