Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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