I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
