I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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