Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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