If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
